Good... Bad... I'm The Guy With The Crowbar

Recently, there's been a huge surge in popularity for specialized gift boxes. Some of them are monthly subscriptions, like Horror Block, and others are one-time gift ideas that can be personalized to suit the recipient's interests. One such organization is the group known as Man Crates Gifts for Men. As the name suggests, they craft unique loot collections that cater to men, with choices for retro gamers, new dads, poker players, and more. The best part is that it all arrives in a large wooden crate that you have to pry open with a crowbar. And the crowbar is included!

All very well and good, you may say, but what does this have to do with Halloween? So glad you asked, metaphorical reader. The fine folks at Man Crates Gifts for Men contacted us here at the Drive-in wanting to know what we'd include in a kit for the poor soul who's trapped in a horror movie and aware of that fact. Which items would prove the most useful in a nightmare scenario? What do you need to survive the terrors headed your way? And does beef jerky ever expire?

Review: Locke and Key

What if you had a key that would let you go anywhere in the world?  Where would you go?  What would you do?  Or, what if you had a key that let you turn into an animal?  What if there was a key that allowed you to grow wings and fly, turn into a giant, or gain the strength of Hercules?  Furthermore, what if a sinister being was trying to get their hands on these keys and you were the only one who could stop it?  My fellow fright fans, welcome to the town of Lovecraft.

A Ghost's Story

(Author's Note: A short story in place of an article today. Happy reading!)

Let's start this story with the twist ending: I'm already dead.

I just wanted you to know right off the bat. I don't want to be accused of ripping off another hack writer.

That said, being a ghost isn't all it's cracked up to be. For one, I don't remember anything. I don't remember my family, my home town, my favorite movie. I don't even remember my name. Don't get me wrong, though. I remember movies and pop culture. I remember history, math, and how to read. I guess all the personal stuff doesn't come with you when you go. From what I can gather, I'm a male in my early twenties and I was shot somewhere in the vicinity of my left ear. The only reason I know this is because, at times when the wind is just right, I hear a whistling by there. Being that I have no reflection, I can't check it out for myself. How do I know I'm a guy in my early twenties? Just this feeling I get that I am. Now, I could be a forty year old man that was going through a mid life crisis, but I'd rather think I'm twenty.

Review: Mr. Boogedy (25th Anniversary!)

No one will believe this, but it wasn't that long ago that the Disney Channel showed classic animated films and quality original content. Anyone younger than 20 will not be able to remember, and those of us who are old enough are unfortunately losing grasp of our memories. But it's true! The Disney Channel survived for years on movies and shows for the whole family, not just sitcom dreck that appeals to preteen girls. And like the best Disney animated classics, their made-for-television stories were occasionally intense, arguably too intense for the core audience. That's what made them so much fun. I doubt any of you have seen the movie I'm discussing tonight, and if you have, then you can count yourself very lucky indeed. Let's talk about Mr. Boogedy.

"He had a grilled-cheese sandwich kinda face."

The Ghost with the Most

Everyone praises Ghostbusters as THE paranormal comedy of the last thirty years. It's the best of the best and nobody can top it. It's got the best jokes, the spookiest looking monsters, the most likeable characters. Everyone talks about it all the time. And I agree, it's a perfect example of a paranormal comedy. But, I will also admit, it's not my absolute favorite freaky funny movie. There was one movie that I watched practically daily as a kid. A movie that my grandmother thought would shatter my poor young mind because I watched it so much. A movie about ghosts, exorcisms, a giant mutant snake monster, and Harry Belafonte. I'm sure you all remember Beetlejuice.

The Spooky Old House On the Hill

Many simple pleasures have been destroyed due to the arrival of better technologies: letter-writing, playing outside, all-day cooking. It was less than 20 years ago that the only way to find answers to questions both crucial and trivial was to read a book. Now, it takes approximately 3 seconds to pull things up on Google. Thanks to iPhones, people are connected 24/7. Nothing takes effort anymore. Video and computer games keep children inside with a mountain of junk food. At least when we burned our brains on cartoons Saturday morning, they were usually done by noon, at which point my mother would shoo me into the Great Outdoors to play, discover, and yes, learn. The pre-internet and cell phone years had their problems, sure, but things definitely seemed more idyllic.

Now, one could blame all of this on nostalgia, the fact that being children made us less aware of society's issues, and any other number of things. And to a point that's true. I certainly didn't know what a recession meant when I was 10, nor did I care. I just knew that the weekend was mine, and my buddies and I were going to discover hidden treasure like in The Goonies.