Review: The Ritual

Netflix has been spending millions on original content for a while now, eager to become an entertainment destination unto themselves and not just a place for binge-watching old sitcoms. There have been massive successes (Stranger Things), and some obvious failures (anything Adam Sandler gave them). But when they pick up a low-budget horror flick from a newbie director featuring no big stars and a story steeped in Norse mythology, it's reasonable to assume it's a movie one should skip. This is one of those situations where it feels so good to be wrong. Let's get lost in The Ritual.

This tagline was changed before release, following the tragic shooting in the city of Las Vegas.

The story centers on Luke (Rafe Spall), an emotionally disabled man who's reeling with guilt from an incident 6 months prior. While his friend Rob met his death in a liquor store at the hands of a minor perp, Luke cowered behind a shelving unit, clutching a bottle of vodka like a security blanket. As a tribute to their fallen friend, Luke and the rest of the gang -Phil, Hutch, and Dom- are hiking through the wilds of Scandinavia, something Rob had always wanted to do. No one is talking about what Luke did (or rather, didn't do) in the liquor store when Rob was killed, but it's on their minds.

When Dom experiences an injury that drastically slows him and the group down, it's suggested they cut the trip in half by traveling as the crow flies and taking a shortcut directly through the forest. What begins as an adventure in brotherly hiking quickly turns into a creepfest, as the men encounter pagan cabins, stunningly realistic nightmares, and a predator unlike anything they've ever seen in front of or behind their eyes. And all the while, old regrets keep bubbling to the surface, like bad booze...

The Ritual is one of those films that will either delight or exhaust you depending on how many horror films you've seen. What I mean to say is, it's not a particularly original plot, and the individual story beats will be pretty recognizable too. There's echoes of The Blair Witch Project, The Descent, The Hills Have Eyes, even Jaws. But the movie does everything so well, and so confidently, I just didn't care. Director David Bruckner does a wonderful job with his first feature-length, knowing just how long to hold the camera, when to let the actors do the heavy lifting, when to show the monster in full.

Oh yes, there is a monster. If you have better than average knowledge of Norse mythology, you may be able to see where the story is going by the halfway point, but that doesn't spoil the incredible reveal. The general consensus online is that The Ritual's big bad boasts the best creature design in years if not decades, and I have to agree. A truly original beastie, with a clever mix of practical and CGI effects, you'll be hard-pressed to get it out of your mind. I'm not going to share it here, you have to see it for yourself.

Your mileage on the human antagonists may vary, as they definitely repeat a lot of what's come before, with less verve and imagination than the woods and the creature. Still, the discovery Luke makes in the attic is a highlight of the film. The best thing about the script is how smartly it deployed comedy. The Ritual is not a funny movie and isn't meant to be, but that just makes the two or three humorous moments land that much harder. One unexpected act of violence near the finale made me do an actual spit-take. Everyone in the cast does a fine job, straddling the line between unlikable and sympathetic with aplomb. Probably best known to Yanks as one of the 2 Andys from Hot Fuzz, Spall does a fantastic job as a leading man, and a dramatic one no less. 

Like all good movies, it's about something more, and something deeper, than just the surface narrative of a group of men getting lost in the woods and dying. The Ritual digs into things that guys have trouble articulating, even when they want to: guilt, regret, what they need to do to achieve or even feel redemption, forgiveness. Bruckner mentioned in an interview that men have much more difficulty than women not just making new friends as they get older, but maintaining the relationships they have. No one is sure EXACTLY why that is, but the specter of hurt is there on the actors' faces, and it's a large part of the story. It's not lost on me that I'm not much younger than the characters as I write this, and have dealt with this problem. A sobering tale once you dig into the themes.

All said and done, The Ritual is the first A on horror's report card for 2018, and if you're a fan of The Wicker Man crossed with the worst road trip imaginable and just a pinch of Lovecraft, you'll dig it.

The Ritual is streaming exclusively on Netflix.

Review: High Strung (and some info about the future of the Haunted Drive-in)

Now this is unusual, isn't it? I said I'd be back next month, and here I am! I'm sure anyone who's followed this blog for longer than a few days expected me to write my next post sometime in October 2018. I can't say I blame you, I've never been one for consistent updates.

Review: The WNUF Halloween Special

I've mentioned before how Halloween, more than any other major holiday (JUST beating out Christmas), seems to practically run on nostalgia. So much of what we love about October 31st is wrapped up in the experiences we've already had, the candy we received last year or the haunted house we walked through a decade ago. And of course, the cheesy TV specials that have became a ritual of required viewing every season, cartoons and grisly horror and quaint old commercials for shampoo and fast food and department stores that no longer exist. Turns out, the people behind tonight's movie also recognize the power of memories. Let's dive into the WNUF Halloween Special.

Scary Flicks Scaring Kids

Little kids are always being underestimated, especially when it comes to horror. Quality movies for all ages that could legitimately be called horror films are more elusive than unicorns. Like I've said before, it's occasionally because simple-minded adults believe that children have enough fears and suffering to deal with, but in the case of movies, it's mostly because "all-ages horror" translates into "crap" 99% of the time. Are there any scary movies the whole family can enjoy? That's a rhetorical question, don't shout the answer at your screen.

Are We In The Middle Of A Horror Drought?

The first decade of the 21st century has been many things to many people, but a wellspring of horror films it is most certainly not. We've gotten some solid zombie flicks, no question, and television is bubbling over with monsters of all kinds. In the cinematic world though, our ghouls and ghosts are largely passed over. All we've really gotten for awhile is remakes, watered-down PG-13 fluff, and torture porn. Ugh.

Of course, I'm exaggerating to make a point. Yes, we've gotten plenty of other great genre films in the past 10 years, and I'm sure all of you could name a few without much trouble. Still, this feels like a rather anemic time for horror. TV excepted, there have been relatively few offerings for gorehounds recently. We can stretch the definition a little, call something "a fantasy film with horror elements" to fill in the gap, but it doesn't help much. This isn't anything new, of course. Movies are like the tide: there's an ebb and flow to people's tastes. This especially rings true for genre work. Slasher films and ghost stories will disappear for a few years, then make a comeback based on the strength of one impressive effort (you think there'd be Insidious without Paranormal Activity? Pfft).

Review: So I Married An Axe Murderer

Michael Myers hasn't been in a real laugh-fest for years. I wish it weren't so, I like the guy and some of the goofball characters he's created. But, if you want to watch a really funny Myers flick, you've got to go back to the 1990s. The first Austin Powers film, Wayne's World obviously, and then, there's this little gem.

Matthew Lillard Is A Quality Killer

Like any genre or medium, horror and sci-fi have their fair share of iconic stars. There's Bruce Campbell, Sigourney Weaver, Robert Englund, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vincent Price, Bela Lugosi, Harrison Ford... the list goes on. For every A-lister though, there's a dozen unknowns who never get their due. And some of them really need the encouragement, because they give each role their best. You want to know who the unsung hero of horror is? Look no further than Matthew Lillard.

Yeah, the guy from Scooby-Doo. Since the start of his career, Lillard has opted for roles that either pitted him against monsters, or had him become the monster himself. His first credit was as an extra on the set of Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College. From these questionable beginnings, he snagged a role as Chip, the son of Kathleen Turner's titular psycho in Serial Mom. Not too bad for a second job. Young Matthew worked steadily through the 90s in television and short films. In 1996, Wes Craven made him an automatic entry in the Horror Hall of Fame with a little story called Scream, and that's when things started to get interesting.

"I'll Be Back... Maybe"

Now that he's no longer the governor of California, rumors are running rampant (as all good rumors do) that old pro Arnold Shwarzenegger could be returning to the role that made him famous: the unstoppable T-800 assassin in the storied Terminator franchise. And I do mean old. The former action star is pushing 65. Still, Hollywood seems hellbent on the idea of turning him into a killing machine one more time. So, the ancient question arises - good idea or bad idea?

This is a good idea in theory. If I had any hope that the studio behind the 5th Terminator film could give us a decent story with a reasonable explanation for why an android who shouldn't age looks decades older, then I'd be cautiously optimistic. But there's a problem. We have yet to see a reboot of a grand old sci-fi property from the 70s or 80s that didn't get screwed up royally by screenwriters and directors just looking for a quick buck. In the last 15 years, we've had to endure the Alien vs. Predator flicks, the Transformers franchise, the Star Wars prequels, and of course Terminator: Salvation. 

With the right director and the right script, this could work. I repeat, could. I'd love to see what J.J. Abrams would do with the franchise, or Joss Whedon perhaps. The only name they're throwing around right now is Justin Lin, who most recently directed Fast Five. Yes, the future of SkyNet could be determined by the man who directed the fourth sequel in the Fast and Furious line of movies. Oi. (Although to be fair, Fast Five has far better reviews than anyone predicted. Still...)

I believe that if handled well, Ahh-nold would deliver. I've always liked the man's performances, even when they're not very good. He was perfect for the stern, deadly serious T-800, and if they thought of a good explanation for why the robot is now a senior citizen, he'd do the script justice. But they won't, and he shouldn't. This is a bad idea, simply because when it comes to successful reboots of beloved sci-fi franchises, Hollywood misses the mark 99% of the time. Don't do it Arnold, don't do it.

Review: Mr. Boogedy (25th Anniversary!)

No one will believe this, but it wasn't that long ago that the Disney Channel showed classic animated films and quality original content. Anyone younger than 20 will not be able to remember, and those of us who are old enough are unfortunately losing grasp of our memories. But it's true! The Disney Channel survived for years on movies and shows for the whole family, not just sitcom dreck that appeals to preteen girls. And like the best Disney animated classics, their made-for-television stories were occasionally intense, arguably too intense for the core audience. That's what made them so much fun. I doubt any of you have seen the movie I'm discussing tonight, and if you have, then you can count yourself very lucky indeed. Let's talk about Mr. Boogedy.

"He had a grilled-cheese sandwich kinda face."

They'll Fix You. They Fix Everything

It's no secret that I'm more of a horror guy than a sci-fi fan, but that doesn't mean I never get my future kicks. There's dozens of great movies in my collection that fit the bill, from Alien to Back To the Future and everything in between. And one of the greatest sci-fi franchises the 1980s ever gave us has to be RoboCop.

"This is my BOOMSTI- whoa, sorry there, wrong franchise."

The Horror, The Oscars, And Me

Horror and sci-fi are rarely big winners at the Academy Awards. Oh sure, Black Swan had an impressive haul, and everyone remembers how Silence of the Lambs managed to sweep all the major prizes. Still, unless you broaden your definition of horror to include family-friendly cartoons and "psychological thrillers" (Which is what Black Swan is, let's be fair here), the spooky stuff is usually like Rodney Dangerfield in the eyes of Oscar: no respect.

I realize I'm preaching to the choir here, but be patient. Horror films are as a valid a work of art as any other movie, aren't they? Why should they be constantly passed over for the most prestigious trophies, shuffled off to one side for the statues no one cares about, like sound design or make-up? Well, if we're going to be honest, it's because most horror movies just aren't very good. That's not a problem for a true fan; as I've said before, we can have a great time with a good movie or a wretched one. But the critics and Academy voters tend to see the bad horror films and forget the ones that were crafted with skill and effort. You know what they say about one bad apple spoiling the bunch? Well, it's the Saws and Twilights of the world that complicate the chances of far more deserving scary movies getting a nod. 

Preview: The Perfect Host

Dark comedy is a difficult thing to pull off, especially for American filmmakers. Our collective desire for a happy ending (not to mention our sensitivity towards jokes about serious subject matter) make black humor a big risk at the box office. The only directors who try on a regular basis are the Coen brothers, and to be fair, they hit the mark only about half the time. Seeing a trailer for a movie that looks like it's literally swimming in such evil lunacy? It makes a horror fan hopeful.

The trailer starts with a crook named John on the run from police, having successfully swiped over $300,000. He worms his way into the house of a man named Warwick, who seems like just another frightened home invasion victim. After John samples some wine though, things get weird. The tables turn violently, putting Warwick in control. After all, he's not about to let some punk bank robber spoil his dinner party.

It's difficult to tell exactly what kind of movie The Perfect Host wants to be. There's allusions to The Strangers, Guess Who's Coming To Dinner, even the sitcom Frasier, which seems only appropriate with David Hyde Pierce in the lead. This is definitely a new role for the television veteran. In the two minutes of trailer I've seen, his performance already looks like an Oscar contender: funny, disturbing, and full of quirks. It's impossible to say how much of the film will feature the rest of the cast and how much will be the Warwick Show, but either way, it looks incredibly entertaining. I'm curious to see how the film handles the dueling thematic tones, as the trailer manages to shift from Wes Craven-style disturbing to Edgar Wright-style slapstick fairly easily.

Although premiering at the Sundance Film Festival over a year ago, The Perfect Host has yet to receive a mainstream or even limited release. Thankfully, it opens in theaters stateside July 1st, with the Video-On-Demand option available May 27th. So we won't have to wait much longer.

Whether it's a horror flick, a psychological thriller, or a black comedy worthy of Kurt Vonnegut, The Perfect Host is shaping up to be a can't-miss experience all the same. After watching the trailer, be sure to share your theories in the comments. My opinion? John's dead from the start.

The Ghost with the Most

Everyone praises Ghostbusters as THE paranormal comedy of the last thirty years. It's the best of the best and nobody can top it. It's got the best jokes, the spookiest looking monsters, the most likeable characters. Everyone talks about it all the time. And I agree, it's a perfect example of a paranormal comedy. But, I will also admit, it's not my absolute favorite freaky funny movie. There was one movie that I watched practically daily as a kid. A movie that my grandmother thought would shatter my poor young mind because I watched it so much. A movie about ghosts, exorcisms, a giant mutant snake monster, and Harry Belafonte. I'm sure you all remember Beetlejuice.

Science Fiction Double Feature (Sort Of)

Sometimes, we forget what a great experience going to the movies can be. Even with stadium seating and state-of-the-art sound systems, most every movie theater equates to sitting in a big black box. There's nothing wrong with the latest and greatest, but sometimes, even when everyone there is enjoying what's on the screen, they seem to be enjoying it alone.

Tonight, I organized a get-together for my circle of friends. With popcorn and soda on hand, we rented out the private movie theater for our own double feature event. I'd been planning this for weeks. The movies weren't exactly horror or sci-fi. Alright, we went with Harrison Ford: first was Raiders of the Lost Ark and then The Fugitive because, well, why not?

Not everything worked the way I wanted it to (I hoped to have a 10-minute intermission reel with old drive-in stipes between the films; the DVD wouldn't play), but I still had the most excellent cinematic experience I'd had in a long time. We laughed at the jokes, we gasped at the cliff-hangers, we mocked the villains. It was like the old days, when going to see the newest Disney cartoon practically guaranteed a shared happy memory.

Ever since early man first told stories around a campfire, people have gathered together to see and hear tales unfold before them. The movies are the perfect way to bond with friends and family, in the right setting and with the right attitude. There were two dozen people at my apartment tonight, and all of them had ideas about what the next double feature should be.

I honestly don't think I stand a chance of slipping in any flicks that would fit my blog (half my friends are girls who startle easy, and the guys, while being steadfast bros, find my more morbid tastes "weird"), but you can bet the Bates Motel that we'll be doing this again, and often. Maybe an all-day marathon of the Harry Potter series in order to gear up for the final film's release this summer. I'm down.

I wasn't yet born when the original Star Wars film first opened in theaters, but my mother tells me that she went to see it back in the day. When Han Solo reappeared at the climax to aid Luke in destroying the Death Star, the entire crowd apparently applauded, cheered, and half of them stood up like they were at a sporting event. Movies shouldn't be a private thing. Movies are meant to be shared, and enjoyed, and experienced. Not just watched. Hmm, Star Wars counts as classic sci-fi. Looks like this post is relevant after all.

And hey, Han Solo was played by Harrison Ford! Can that man bring people together or what?

Review: I Sell the Dead

Never trust a corpse. I think we can all agree that is some sound advice. And if you're a grave robber, it goes double. These lessons are learned the hard way in  I Sell the Dead, an indie flick from 2008 starring Dominic Monaghan and Ron Perlman.

Review: Dead Snow

The great thing about horror movies is, whether the flick is good or bad, you can still have a good time. Even truly terrible pieces of work make for a fun evening. Hell, Mystery Science Theater 3000 proved that for over a decade. And since Netflix gave us the beautiful gift of Instant Watch (a godsend for horror fans if ever there was one), mountains of laughably bad films are just a click away. But what about when a movie is just... OK? Is there still fun to be had? In the case of Tommy Wirkola's Dead Snow, the answer is a definite maybe.