Cynics Will Kill Us All!

OK, so the title of this post might be a bit melodramatic. But I have a point I'm building towards, I swear, so just go with it.

When we're young, very young, we don't really care what the crowd is into. We like the music we like, we watch the movies we watch, and we don't make excuses for it. Our thing is our thing, man. This went double for the monster kids before horror became mainstream. You couldn't explain to your parents or disinterested friends why you enjoy vampires and ghosts and zombies so much, but you didn't feel a need to either. You bought the new Misfits CD without a qualm. You went to the slasher flick that got poor reviews and appreciated the creative kills despite the shoddy direction. You spent $100 on a Dracula model kit and you were HAPPY!

Worth it.

Review: The ABCs of Death

I am not a world-famous writer (yet), so I don't often get the chance to review movies when they're fresh. I usually have to wait around for the better part of a year until they land on Netflix or in Redbox so I can weigh in. Hopefully in the future my reviews will be more timely, but in the meantime, I'll be as entertaining and relevant as I can. So I'll begin with this: mother pusbucket, this movie was rough.

The poster was the most coherent bit.

Run n' Gun... Nope, Just Run

Hi everyone. I know it's been... two years, since we talked. It's ok, you can blame it on me. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone. Except you. Yeah, you. The guy in the Suspiria shirt. You think you're so much better than the rest of us because you watch old-school Italian horror and nothing else? Big bloody deal...

I recently completed Amnesia: The Dark Descent, a PC-only horror title released by Frictional Games. While it's been out for a couple of years (in fact, the sequel drops next month, but more about that in a minute), I only got the chance to play it this summer. Many gamers and horror fans alike were praising its creepy environments, haunting music, and Lovecraftian story nods, so I waited until it went on sale and jumped right in.

Now I can't sleep. 

When it comes to video games, horror protagonists aren't the victimized targets you usually come across in most movies and TV shows. No, our pixelated heroes are armed to the teeth from the start, making most of the "terror" rather anti-climactic. Sure, they may work in a decent jump scare or two, but the sense of dread doesn't last when I can just unload every machine gun round I have into the guy's/monster's/demon's face. This is the way of things because a game, any game, has to have a sense of fun and control for the player (not to mention many of them are "watered down" for the snot-nosed brats who con their folks into buying Mature-rated games). Most developers want to ensure an enjoyable and exciting experience for each person who picks up the controller, so gameplay can often surge ahead of story and/or any chance of lasting fright.

Not pictured: fear.