Graveyard Playground

Alright, so I'm posting on Sunday instead of Monday or Friday. It's still this week, give me a break.

Since I was old enough to walk, my favorite theme park attraction in all the world has been The Haunted Mansion in Walt Disney World (Orlando, FL). Despite all the project turmoil and personal tragedy its creators endured, the mansion ended up a masterpiece of atmosphere, detail, and fun, the hallmarks of classic Disney. Filled to overflowing with clever gags, eerie characters, and evocative music, millions of people have made their way through this retirement home for the dearly departed since it opened in 1971 (the original opened at Disneyland in California two years prior).

It was also the perfect way to introduce young'uns to spooky concepts. The place was just unsettling enough to be interesting, but once you got through to the end of the ride, you realize that all the ghosts (at least, all the ghosts you come across) are a jovial sort who just want to have a good time, and there's no real danger. Outside though, the brick and mortar looms over guests like a living thing, and the wolf howls don't help to ease your sense of fear.

For 40 years, the mansion remained largely unchanged. Oh sure, there'd be audio tweaks, and they did add a new bride to the attic, but for the most part all 999 happy haunts kept themselves to themselves, waiting for us inside. That is, until this past April, when Disney employees (I refuse to call these jokers Imagineers, they don't deserve the title) made huge, expensive, and idiotic changes that forever altered the vibe of this once-great attraction.

The day the mansion died.

Sun, Lies, and Tortured Souls

Alright, if any of you are still paying attention to the drive-in after nearly three months of silence, you are my heroes. I think we've all learned a little lesson: never believe Rabbi when he makes a promise. Twice in the last 10 weeks, I've "promised" to get back to blogging so you'd all have something new to absorb. The archives that Daffy and I built up are impressive, but they don't take one-fifth of a year to read.

The plain and simple fact is that I've been busy. I've got a new full-time job (and two other part-time jobs). I'm hanging out with friends. I'm visiting family. And I'm going to Mickey's Not-so-scary Halloween Party this October, so I need to focus on saving my cash, not to mention thinking up an awesome costume. Given the current length of my beard, I'm considering attending as Rebeus Hagrid.

There's something else that's kept me away from my keyboard lately. It's just too darn nice outside. Let's be honest here, it's hard to be a spooky kid when the weather beckons for you to take a swim. I like the cold, the dark, and the scary, sure. But I won't pretend I don't like a pool, a tan, and a game of frisbee as well. I'm not a Goth. I need to explore the outdoors once in awhile.

So all that said, it's been tough coming up with things to write about. Some people figured I got bored with the idea. Nope, not even close. I've just been hibernating from horror a bit. Now that summer is on its last legs and Halloween is a couple months away, my blood and guts is once again hungry for some blood... and guts.

I haven't spoken to Daffy since his last post, but I'm sure he's eager to continue on. The guy is just as busy as I am, if not more so, so he's had much the same problem coming up with content. Hopefully, he'll be back with a new piece later in the week. I've given up on posting every day; mostly because it's difficult thinking of compelling material, but also because the both of us have now posted plenty of interesting blogs with worthy topics of discussion, not to mention our book and movie reviews. If you haven't combed through all the old posts yet, please do and add to the discussion! I think you'll like what you find. I'm planning on updating the site at least once a week, possibly every Monday and/or Friday night. Don't hold me to that though, we know how I tend to welch on commitments.

Those of you who've been reading us from the beginning are the coolest, and I want to say thanks for sticking with it. Keep telling your friends and readers about The Haunted Drive-in, we appreciate the help.

I don't want to close this return post by being all mushy and sentimental, so I'll let you all in on a tidbit. Curtis RX of the band Creature Feature has just released the second single for his upcoming pet project Rufus Rex. Click here to download "Worlds In-between" with its sweet "Name Your Price" feature. Nifty guy that he is, Curtis would rather people have the song for free than not have it at all, but if you can donate any amount (all the money goes towards completion of the album, which he hopes to release before Halloween), then cheers!

Stay spooky everyone...

The Moonlight Spotlight: Winifred Sanderson

Hello and welcome back to the Moonlight Spotlight, where we put little known fiends of fright-fests at center stage! Last time, we had a small appetizer, a creepy cartoon from deep inside Looney Tunes Laboratories. Today, we're hitting puberty, but we're not quite at the big leagues yet. And with puberty comes certain phases. This time, we're going through that witchy phase. There's just something that is unsettling about witches. It could be their evil cackle, obsession with the color black, or their tendency to turn harmless children into rats. Whatever the reason, they're terrifying to little kids. Especially when they're played by Bette Midler. Yes, dear fiends, we're looking at a wicked witch from the past, Winifred Sanderson of the Sanderson Sisters.

This was Bette Midler's reaction when she got the part.

Great Green Gobs Of... Oh, You Know

It may not be all that well-known in the current day and age, but when I was a kid, everybody knew the song that started with the immortal words "great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts" because it's, and I'm sure you'll agree, one of the best songs ever written. When a friend asked me the other day what the words were, I was surprised to discover that the lyrics I had grown up with were not the same that he remembered from his own childhood. Turns out, there's quite a few different versions of this thing.

The earliest recording can be traced back to 1959, from an album called The Sounds of Camp. This was added to the Smithsonian compilation A Fish That's a Song. No copyright or author credit is given on the Smithsonian release, and to this day, the song remains an anonymous piece. It does seem obvious that the work started as a kind of American folk song in summer camps, but this is speculation based on the information available. The disgusting tune was a hit anyway, and millions of kids began changing the lyrics to make it even more disgusting and entertaining.

The idea is simple enough: just combine body parts, dead animals, and other unsavory things and make it fit the beat. I first heard the song in a collection entitled Spooky Tunes! (which is the book I was trying to remember back in my very first post). Although the first line is always the same, each version adds different phrases to the chorus, and sometimes a different ending line as well. The version I'm familiar with is called "Spooky Stew" and features this first stanza:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts

Scabs, scratches bumps and cuts

Yuck it sounds disgusting but

Just throw them in your musty rusty crusty pot and

BOO! It's spooky stew

You can view several variations on the song's Wikipedia page. Yes, Great Green Gobs has a Wikipedia page. Gotta love the internet. It's a gross song, sure, but man does it give me fond memories of my junior high years. Next time someone asks you what you'd like for dinner, start belting this little ditty and see how they react.

Scary Flicks Scaring Kids

Little kids are always being underestimated, especially when it comes to horror. Quality movies for all ages that could legitimately be called horror films are more elusive than unicorns. Like I've said before, it's occasionally because simple-minded adults believe that children have enough fears and suffering to deal with, but in the case of movies, it's mostly because "all-ages horror" translates into "crap" 99% of the time. Are there any scary movies the whole family can enjoy? That's a rhetorical question, don't shout the answer at your screen.